“Only let us live up to what we have already attained.” Philippians 3:16 (NIV)
I just finished reading the 9/19/2013 Devotional on the Proverbs 31 Ministries web site. http://proverbs31.org/ The name of it is I Had the Perfect Comeback by Lisa Terkeurst. In it, she tells a story of how a couple became unglued recently on a Plane ride because Lysa and her friend were talking on the plane.
I have a confession to make, this devotional was definitely meant for me to read today. I have had a heavy heart all week. Why? I became unglued while on a phone call with a representative from one of my credit cards. Here’s the story but it is not pretty. Two months ago, I paid off the final balance owed on a credit card. I then forgot about it. Thirty seven days later, I started receiving toll free calls. My hubby asked me what were they about. He said that they were leaving messages and thought I had better follow up.
I called the number left on the answering machine and found that in between my paying off the balance and the next bill – a $30 charge appeared on the card. Since I was of the impression I had paid off this card, I was ignoring mail from them. According to the credit card company, I was 37 days late in payment. It seems that the $30 charge had accumulated two $35 penalty charges and was now $91. When I found this out, I was ticked off but I electronically paid the $91 due.
The next day, the calls continued. When my hubby informed me that I had another message, I called them back but this time I took the option to speak with a representative. I informed him that I had paid the bill just the day before and wanted to know why they were still calling. He gave me the same information as the message received on my answering machine before I paid the bill – I was 37 days late in payment. I asked him if he had checked the account before calling? I then starting screaming at him about how I had paid this card off and wanted to know where the $30 charge had come from. As I went on and on with my voice continuing to rise, I heard a distinct click as the representative hung up on me.
I feel really bad about this because there was no reason for the blow up. I had already paid the bill. I knew this when I called and asked to speak to a representative. Once he confirmed that yes they had received the payment but it had not processed through their system and would post that very day, I should have ended the call. Instead, I let him have it with all of the frustration surrounding the fact that I had to pay an additional $91 and I did not know why.
Now, I am still out of the $91 but I also feel as if I have fallen off track. I have just completed a bible study “What Happens When Women Say Yes to God” on 9/14/2013 and here it was barely a week later and I was backsliding! Just as Lysa describes, I feel I put my Christianity on a shelf. I had no excuse, the guy on the phone was just doing his job and I had the perfect opportunity to be gentle or kind but I chose to be mean. I chose Satan and I know he is very happy about that!
By the same token it seems the representative chose God by hanging up on me. It was enough to bring me back to myself but I keep berating myself – how did I let that happen? I did not do what Philippians 3:16 reminds me of, instead I chose to let my raw emotions win. Now, I am sitting in that big pile of regret….. I need to stop and reflect. What is it that drove me to that reaction? What kind of stored up misery am I carrying around to react like that?
The phone call was two days ago. Since then the only excuse I can come up with is perhaps the pressure at work is getting to me but I cannot accept that excuse. I plan to open up the Unglued book by Lysa Terkeurst and try to regain my perspective. How did I let Satan in so quickly?
The good part is I know what I should have done. I should have just ignored the call since I knew I had paid the bill. If I had though, I would have missed this lesson from God. While writing this, I am listening to the gospel song “It ain’t over, until God says it is” – boy don’t I know it!